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Alrighty folks this is a long one....
I have had an ominous feeling as of late. Bear with me here this is just a notion I have, but it feels as if I'm growing apart from some of my closest friends. It's not some emotional drivel, such as anger or anything of that nature, just a feeling.....
On that same note, every day brings about some small change in my life. almost like a tremendous force amsssing for some dramatic renewal of my being, or something of that nature. the change encompasses everything from getting a car to some emotional growth. Then again some changes are MASSIVE. For one the darkness in the core of my being that i feared would never give me rest, has now abandoned it's post. Suddenly i really want a job and to go back to school, and start my life.Hell maybe I am a man after all.
on the subject of friends, let me tell you it is getting to be more a shitstorm of misinformation and intrigue with every passing moment. As a matter of fact, a few of my (bestest)mates are in this weird "going out with" triangle. (since im pretty sure love is'nt the right term for this specific ordeal) personaly I think it's silly, but that's me. another of my closest comrades, after years of some of the most poignant desperation and loneliness, finally has someone, someone whom he never sees... this in itself bodes ill for everyone who cares for him. I mean we've all said for years " he really needs a girlfriend". Though it is early it already seems like a twisted mockery of what it should be, clandestine meetings aside...
In this time of great confusion for my friends, i wish i could give advice that helped, but alas it would sound like the ranting of some old fool.(lol)Besides no one ever heeds my advice when offered, even though almost evertime things are as i predict, which sounds like i'm talking out of my fat ass, but sadly is accurate. I'm just sick of seing my friends in pain and doubt. to be quite brutally frank, it FUCKING SUCKS! I used to be obsessed with my problems, but now their dilemmas weigh heavy. if only i could i would bear it all in their stead. (How Wagnerian is that? lol)
In any case my comrades are really just turning me off to the whole notion of dating. I mean it's all so creepy sounding. of course seeking love is kind of creepy when you think about it. Intimate love is described in Websters Dictionary as " an extreme emotional obsession". kinda makes one shiver a bit doesnt it? y'know what's really creepy? Love letters. Of course i guess they're good for when you can't necessarily see your significant other... ( clears throat)Sometimes I'm glad I'm so creepy it almost completely ensures that no one will be interested in me. (on that same note that can be a little depressing lol)With me I never have to worry about this stuff, it just seems so.... DAMN COMPLICATED!!! I guess i never was good at dealing with advanced algebraic functions, which is what I relate these to.
In closing I would like to say this. Because they all are my dearest and most trustworthy friends, I feel like I am putting my nose in their business, but when it comes down to it i have no right to do so. though i rant and rave, it all amounts to nothing more than words. Well... Rock on , live fast, and if you're gonna die, die with your boots on!Current Mood:  confused Current Music: Iron Maiden (ROCK ON!!!!) |
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well im back after quite some time. i've decided to post a blog,for spring break draws nigh.spring but no new beginnings i can assure you. every year it is the same,the trees begin to come alive, flowers bloom, and the birds sing. Every year i get my hopes up that my life will bloom, and every year i stay trapped in winter... Then again, within the last year my spirit has regained some of it's old vigor. Maybe this is the spring i am hoping for.... or maybe im just growing up a bit. probably not,but oh well. remember rock on and if you're gonna die, die with your boots on!!!!Current Mood:  mellow Current Music: Dimmu Borgir- Progenies of the Great Apocalypse |
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Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckety FUCKETY!!!!!!! fuck fucker fuck head fuck ass fuck face fuck head FUCK YOU!!!!fuck i am the master dildo u will bow before my bohemian spaggetios u bosten crabs with gonnareha ( this is by my friend Aaron) |
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Greetings my children i have returned i forgot to saythanks to my partner in crime, for setting this up other than that i really dont have much to say, but i feel obligated because you all keep yours updated. sorry if my other one was too crude i was kidding (Jesus fucking christ waht the fuck do you want me to do? die for my sins?)anyways im hoping some people start to view my journal i want some hate mail up in here lol! well as usual rock on fuck out, and if you're gonna die die with your boots on!!!!Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Mr. Crowley (bow bow bow) |
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hiya kids how the fuck are you?!?!? i finally joined your creepy little cult, and im happy to say with great vigor,FUCK! ahh i feel much better, like a deep spiritual cleansing. i just want to say i hate my new schedule and most surely it will die by my hand! jesus this box is fucking huge ill say it again by the crucified god puppet this thing is huge! ( man that was basic) send me replies as i am need of company, and topics so that was it. And i thought it would hurt. well die with your boots on rock on! and fuck out. this is fuck head signing off for... ah fuck it. Biyeeeee!!!!!Current Mood:  unfulfilled Current Music: wish i knew what i wanted to listen to |
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ebonsoul's journal